Learned the hard way by Walter Agnew Moore II

20 March 2002, Amiens, France: I am most of the way through my first year ever teaching English in France. It has been a very good year overall. But I remember some dark times at the beginning that could have been avoided if I had known better. Also, I lucked into a few things that helped me cope, that maybe someone else in a similar situation could benefit from. So I have done this write-up of do's and don't's to help anyone who comes after me.

DO:

Find a bar you can hang out in. You will need the bartender's sympathetic ear. There are various types of bars for different purposes.

The Irish pub (every French city has one) is a good place to go when you are at that I-hate-France stage (it happened 4 weeks in for me, and lasted until about week 7) and you can blow off steam with other anglophones. The Irish pub is also, parodoxically, a great place to meet French people— it attracts people who want to practice their English, but after 30 minutes chat, you will find that you are practicing your French with friendly people.

The French local bar is great for getting to know people from your neighborhood, and you will get really good at understanding the language when you have it chattered high-speed all around you. The locals will be able to help you with mysterious things like getting a phone. They will sympathize with you when you get jerked around by the Prefecture— they don't like it either.

Buy a cheap bicycle.

If you play music too loud at night, or otherwise bother your neighbors, just apologize by telling them you were drunk. This never fails to bring a smile and understanding.

Join some clubs. There are more sports, game, art, anything-type associations in France than I have ever seen in the US. You will meet people and make connections you never could otherwise. I belong to a rugby club and a wargame club, so I alternate between brute and geek. People from these clubs have taken me to schools where they work so I can speak English to the kids. I have met their families. They have fed me.

Play music. Walk around with a musical instrument, and people will come up to you. Go see music.

DO NOT:

Don't worry about your Carte de Sejour, or the seemingly infinite trips you will make to the prefecture to try to get it. Don't worry about the fact that you cannot get a bank account without an apartment, or an apartment without a bank account. This is France, and no matter what the rules say, everything that is truly important tends to get done. Such as your paycheck. Never had a problem there. All else is busy work.

Don't worry if your students don't come to class all that often. This is a different system, where only the final exam counts. The French students see classes as more like optional study-sessions than the clocking-into-the-factory-every-day approach we have in the States. They don't mean any disrespect. In fact, they can be some of the most polite students you will ever teach.

Do not stress when the waiter doesn't move fast. In France, when you eat out, you are relaxing in a restaurant for 2 or 3hours. Relax. You will start to like it. If you need to eat fast, don't go to McDo's— French bakeries sell lots of good, cheap, fresh sandwiches for you to take away.

And finally, if you are a US citizen, PLEASE do not pretend to be Canadian "because they don't like Americans in Europe". Who gives a damn. Grow a back-bone. You may get some respect for once. I was in a bar once where a Palestinian man was practically in tears, he hated America so much. We had a nice no-bullshit talk, agreed on some things, differed on others, and parted as friends.

France is pretty cool. Come on over.