She sits in a dark, stuffy room, only vaguely aware of her surroundings. It's
her apartment, but she doesn't feel at home. The door
opens, and he switches on the light. "Why are you
sitting in the dark?" he asks. No reply. Neither
the darkness nor the silence is surprising. After 10 months
of marriage, he's beginning to wonder what he's gotten
himself into. "What's for dinner, Angela? Ang
?"
She looks up and beyond him, "Yes," her stifled
answer. "What are we going to eat for dinner tonight?"
he repeats, frustration already surfacing. It's been a
long day; why does he have to come home to this? She gets
up and goes into the kitchen; he hears the clanging of
pots and pans as they are disturbed. He flips the TV on
to catch the tail end of the news. "Rain, rain, and
more rain
" he mutters.
It's not that Ben grew up a stupid kid. No, he was one
of the smartest in his class; it was just that he had
never been in the habit of thinking about decisions before
he made them. The results included a totaled 1979 AMC
Eagle, a scar on his left elbow that he still doesn't
really remember getting at the Boston concert, another
scar on his right nipple from a piercing infection, an
ex-girlfriend named "Kiki," 250 shares in Kmart,
a few other pains in this life, but none more frustrating
than Angie. What happened to that fabulous girl he proposed
to? Ah yes, she's in the kitchen and
for the love,
what is that smell? Ben moves to get up when she appears
over his shoulder with a plate in hand. It contains eggs
and spaghetti sauce.
She clumsily sets the plate down in front of her husband
and retreats back to the kitchen. Her mind is awake now;
she knows where she is, but she fumbles with why. "I
have a headache, I'm going to bed," she calls from
the kitchen. No reply. She knows she's being difficult,
and she doesn't care. Down the hall and into the bedroom,
she closes the door behind her and switches on a small
bedside lamp. She reaches for the envelope tucked under
the bed. It's gone.
He smears the eggs around his plate a couple of times
and then resigns himself to the fact that he's not going
to eat the dinner from Hades. Television still blaring,
he reaches into his backpack for the envelope, opens it,
and reexamines the black and white picture of strangers
on a cliff above the ocean. Except Angie is in the picture;
she is sitting and looking happy, not picture happy, but
really happy. "Why was this hiding under the bed?"
he wonders. He was hoping for something a little more
secret maybe? He tosses the picture onto the coffee table,
making a mental note to ask her about the picture in the
morning when she doesn't have a "headache."
She is momentarily frantic. She inspects every inch of
the bed. Could it have fallen from its careful hiding
place? No
then the unthinkable crosses her mind
could he have found it? Took it? Done who knows what with
it? No
yes? No. She looks around and under the bed
again. Nothing. Not under the bed, not beside the bed,
not under the table, not in the dresser, not by the laundry
hamper, not in the laundry hamper, not under the bed
She runs into the bathroom
not in the bathroom
She runs back
Her eyes roam the bedroom again
groan. Dejectedly realizing that nothing further can be
done at that moment, she gives herself to the bed and
the mercy of her pillow. Her eyes burn through the ceiling,
but she does not resist sleep tonight.
Awakening, he squints at the TV until finally Gamera
the flying turtle comes into focus, his shell spinning
and shooting fire into a group of innocent Japanese citizens.
Eggs and spaghetti sauce that haven't moved from the coffee
table smell cold and stale. He stands up, turns off the
TV, crosses the cluttered room, and turns out the light.
The picture remains on the table as he stumbles down the
hall, into the bedroom, and finally, to bed.
It's a cool spring day and salt is in the air. They all
pull over at the viewpoint. Running down the rocky path,
they lose each other in the tall grass. Laughing. They
stand over the edge of the cliff and look out across the
ocean. "I feel small." Turning around, there
he is, as he always was, extending his hand to hers. Look
up-everyone get over here
and smile-click.
Angie and Ben both awaken to the ear-piercing alarm clock.
He rolls over, out of bed and into the shower. She stays
tucked in for a little while longer and then convinces
her warm body that it really does want to get up and out
of this heavenly bliss for some cheap coffee. Her bare
feet are cold on the kitchen floor as she flips the switch
on the machine. He passes her on his way into the front
room and turns the TV on. She follows distantly behind
to catch the morning headlines, then, "My picture
"
He doesn't hear. "What is my picture doing out here?"
she repeats. Ben is lost in the TV, "I don't think
I can stand anymore rai-" "Why is this picture
on the coffee table, Ben?" she shouts. "Oh,
that," he replies, "I found it under the bed,
and I was going to ask you what it was doing there."
Her mind is elsewhere once again. She passes him, reclaiming
the picture from the table, places it back in the envelope
and walks to the bedroom. He's shouting something, but
she cannot understand his words. The envelope is placed
back under the bed-no, on second thought, it is moved
to its new home behind the dresser. There. Now it will
be safe.