Reckless Endangerment

When I was young
I was fast
loose

reckless
Careening along
The world written in blurred lines in my periphery
my eyes locked ahead
point focused
knuckles white
teeth in grimaced grin

I liked the speed
dizzy drunk
all senses straining ahead
life lived in future tense
dangerous longing
waiting to crash
deftly swerving
into
away from
oncoming eyes
bright with frightening promise

bone cracking, tendon snapping, chest aching

SHATTERCRASHBANG

what is the sound of regret?

When I was older
nervous energy
backwards looking
I traveled fast
and reckless
my eyes skittering like insects
forward
back
forward
back

neither satisfied

past

future

I constantly scanned horizons
desperately wanting to be

THERE
DONE
SAFE
AWAY

moving fast now not out of fun
moving fast a delusional necessity
moving fast

I never saw her coming
not even a screech of rubber
I was broken nonetheless

motionless

as my rattling plinking life

settled

all around me

finally finding a shattered stillness

momentum
finally
lost

the unnoticed endless whirring hum
my constant quick companion

silenced

and I could finally hear

the blood

flowing

through my veins

© Jason Nunes 2001