30 Seconds

by Denise Cassino

Only another 30 seconds to go. That's all. 30 short seconds until my life ends. I am strapped down now. Three days ago, I was brought into the holding cell. It’s a few steps from the gurney on which I will die. All of my appeals have run out. I am innocent. I was convicted of a murder I did not commit. It was in Alabama. Twelve and a half years ago. My brother committed the murder. He is insane. I may be insane as well for protecting him all these years but I love him. He is a part of me and I cannot hurt him. My life has been a waste. It’s best over now. I was with him at the time. I saw him do it. It was brutal. He stabbed her—repeatedly. Over and over and over. She was unrecognizable. He ran. I tried to stop him. He got away. I had blood on my hands. At first I tried to explain, but no one would listen. They questioned me—endlessly. I was tired. I was hungry. I needed a cigarette. I needed a Vicodin. I confessed. In writing. I recanted, but it was too late. I pleaded not guilty. The judge allowed the confession into evidence. The jury only took 45 minutes. My court appointed attorney offered no defense. My brother was there the whole time. He wouldn’t speak. He couldn’t save me. He cried. I am used to prison. I read. I write. I am in a cell alone. I do not exercise. I read in the yard. I have no friends. I don’t want any. My parents are dead. That’s good. No one to care. Except my brother. The crowd is chanting, “Death to Rabilar, Death to Rabilar!” The witnesses are seated. They think I’m an animal. My brother is here. I can see his face through the glass. He is staring. We nod at each other. I have no final statement. The girl’s family is here. They hate me. I don’t blame them. I don’t care. The members of the press are witnesses. I stare. They’re wiping me with alcohol swabs. Don’t want infection. They’re inserting the needle. It doesn’t hurt. I can’t feel. They started the first drip. I can feel it. It’s in my blood. I am drowsy. I am fading. I am dying. Now, my brother will die too . . .

This article appeared in the Montgomery Independent the same day:

RABILAR DIES

By Sarah Onofrio

Montgomery Independent

Montgomery, AL - James Richard Rabilar was put to death by lethal injection in an Alabama prison this morning at 12:0l. He was convicted of the brutal slaying of Mary Margaret Danner, a fourteen year old girl, in 1988. She was stabbed 36 times. The case drew national attention when he claimed his brother had committed the murder. He is an only child. He was tried under an insanity plea, but was convicted by an all white jury of seven men and five women who deliberated only 45 minutes. All appeals have run out. The American Civil Liberties Union sent a final appeal to the Governor yesterday which was rejected. Protestors have picketed for five days in front of the prison where the sentence was carried out early this morning. Many believe him to be insane.

He appeared calm when he entered the chamber and offered no resistance. He was strapped down. He offered no final statement. His only movement was a moment when he raised his head, looked in the one way mirror that separated him from the witnesses and nodded once at someone, though the witnesses could not be seen through the mirror. He died quietly at 12:0l.

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